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Defining Capable.
There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.
—Nelson Mandela
What does it mean to live the life you are capable of living?
Well, what does it mean to be capable?
According to Merriam-Webster, to be capable is to have the attributes (such as physical or mental power), competency, and permission required for performance or accomplishment.
But what if we’re trying to get out from under the crushing (albeit somewhat satisfying) burden of performance and accomplishment?
What if performance and accomplishment aren’t even within the realm of possibility?
This is the topic I’ve wrestled for the last two years, both here and on my blog. How do we live an all-out life, an abundant life, a full and rich and meaningful life when we live with very real limits?
It’s a question I’m still trying to answer.
But here’s what I’ve learned so far:
1. I had to grieve what was lost before I could move on.
2. I had to determine, as a person of faith, where I stood with God in this moment. Would I choose to believe that this God I’d devoted my life to was still good even when bad things happened? Would I choose to say, “though he slay me, still I trust in him?” Would I continue to trust the promise that all things—ALL THINGS—work for the good when I stand in my faith? I had to get to yes before I could go forward with hope and expectation.
3. I had to come to some level of acceptance that this is my life at the moment, and I can either use my time protesting that or I can use my time in ways that are productive by MY definition.
4. Which is this: productivity is giving my job, my writing, my family, my body, and my spirit the very best I can AT THAT GIVEN MOMENT. And usually, though not always, those take place one at a time.
These may not be the same conclusions you come to, though I suspect some universality within them.
But, one way or another, we have to define for ourselves what makes our lives worth living in the midst of debilitating pain and fatigue and disability—
and then we have to go about living it out as best we can, moment by moment.